Style and good manners evidently not required.

DSCN0658   How are you today Mr Dog?

————————————————

Mr Dog came running up to Mr Midnight, sniffed  him, and then replied;

“Not too bad, thanks Mr M.  It was great fun winding up Sir Winston the other day wasn´t it.   He really fell for it.  He´s  such a scare-baby. He should know me better by now”.

(For those unaware, the previous post explains the prank played on Sir Winston by Mr M. and Mr Dog)

MM-Avatar      He can´t help it, poor lad.  He´s had a terrible upbringing and now  he´s scared of nearly everything.  He feels safest when sitting with daddy in the study,  peering over daddy´s small printed things with pretty pictures on them.

————————————————–

Mr Dog gazed at Mr Midnight in a puzzled way, wondering what the hell Mr Midnight was talking about.

“What do you mean when you say small printed things with pretty pictures on them?  I don´t understand you Mr M.”

MM-Avatar      I´ve forgotten what humans call them, but they are made out of  flimsy material and are very easy to damage.  The other day, Sir Winston managed to put his paw through one of them and he pierced the gentleman on the reverse side of the “flimsy thingy”. The things have numbers printed on them. Humans love numbers you know, especially when on bits of flimsy material.   🙂

————————————————-

Mr Dog frowned ever so slightly  (however dogs do)  🙂   and then realised  what Mr Midnight was going on about.

“You mean postage stamps Mr M.  My owner has a few of those things but he tends to use his.  Your owner collects the things?  That´s a bit strange isn´t it?”

MM-Avatar      Sometimes, daddy and Sir Winston are a bit strange.  I can´t see the fascination for such bizarre  recreational activities myself.

Poor daddy. Poor Sir Winston. They must lead very uneventful lives if they are so easily  satisfied examining those things.

No wonder Sir Winston has  turned out the way he has.  The poor chap hasn´t got a hope in hell of ever “getting normal” if he carries on copying daddy´s example of satisfaction.   The very idea of collecting those things seems  batty  to me.

That´s why I wanted to help Sir Winston discover his self-confidence by playing that prank which appeared in the last posting.

————————————-

Mr Dog changed position and moved to sit exactly opposite Mr Midnight. He then started to clean himself between his legs.

Mr Midnight,  lightly irritated, turned his head to one  side so as to avoid what he thought,  an unnecessary act of bad behaviour. He blushed ever so slightly (if black cats are able to blush)  🙂  and embarrissingly grumbled;

MM-Avatar      Must you do that before my very eyes Mr Dog. It is rather unpleasant.

I´m aware that you´re from another culture – but still, we  do live in the Black Forest you know.

———————————–

Mr Dog stopped cleaning himself, closed his legs, and then  crouched next to Mr Midnight.

“Oh, I´m ever so sorry Mr Midnight, I forgot that you cats were so sensitive.  I didn´t realise  what I was doing. It´s my natural instinct calling.”

MM-Avatar      That may well be Mr Dog but when having a conversation,  or when guests are present,  it´s terrible bad manners to suddenly start scratching  or cleaning yourself in “certain areas” .

Why can´t you behave like us cats?   We´re always clean, sleek and we NEVER smell.

———————————–

Mr Dog was a little perplexed.  He didn´t like doing the things he did in public, but on the other hand (or paw as the case may be), he couldn´t fight against his natural instinct.

“I wouldn´t be a dog if I acted like a cat now would I Mr M.?  I would look a right  fool.”

MM-Avatar      But you do look a fool Mr Dog;  lying infront of me,  displaying “all things under the sun”. It´s not exactly refined is it?

What makes you want to do those things –  and without shame?

I´m aware that dogs have little inclination  to experience  freedom as us cats  and will therefore,   often copy their human masters;  so  I must ask – did you learn such disgusting habits from your master?

Such “happenings” and “goings-off”  are not part of our household.   It´s quite nice at our place  🙂

———————————–

Mr Dog was at a loss for words but eventually he replied;

“I´m sorry I offended you Mr Midnight. I´ll think twice next time.”

MM-Avatar      It´s alright. Don´t worry about it.  I can handle it.  You must stay true to  yourself. You shouldn´t have to be somebody you´re not.  Just be yourself Mr Dog – but please  try and think a bit ahead when you see me coming.  I´d be most thankful if you did.  🙂

————————————-

Mr Dog started to wag his tail and small drops of slaver formed in the corners of his mouth.

————————————-

“Thanks for your understanding Mr Midnight. Your comments mean a lot to me. You cats are very observant creatures.   Because of a dogs obedient nature towards its master, half the time,  we dogs don´t even  know what we´re doing.  Most of the time, humans  drive us potty.”

————————————

In which to avoid the  blinding rays of the sun, Mr dog raised himself, and then moved to sit on the other side of Mr Midnight.

“I think we dogs get some of our habits from the humans”

MM-Avatar      I can well believe it.  If you´re not used to using your own brain  you´ll obviously,  blindly follow everybody else  and do exactly what everyone tells you to do.

The other day, I was watching people go by as I was sitting on some boulders next to  the school, and I noticed that a lot of people had disgusting habits.  One person spat the stuff which is hanging out of your mouth right now, out infront of him…..

————————————-

Mr Dog was once again, embarrassed, as he  wiped the saliva  drooling out of the corners of his mouth.

MM-Avatar      …………………another person had his trousers hanging half way round his backside  which is not a pretty sight, I can assure you.  Humans tend to have interesting body sizes too,  and many will often dress  themselves in the most ridiculous manner.   Sometimes, I think that cats are the only creatures with taste and style –  although that is naturally, a matter of opinion.

The things some humans get up to. The way some of them act gives the impression that many obviously  believe that they are alone on the planet.  They selfishly, just look after number 1. Humans often talk about respect but frequently, give little cause for someone to show them respect.  Humans love making rules but many seem to avoid abiding by those rules.

Daddy´s not purrfect either, but even he occassionally “moans” about the  aggressive driving skills and   lack of respect confronting him when he drives to his “fur-styling place”.

Whatever next?  Where´s the “civilised” world heading?

Some humans even scratch themselves in the most awful places – and in public!

————————————

Mr Dog replied; ” I think humans scratch themselves  because humans are related to monkeys and monkeys  scratch all the time.  If you thought dogs and humans had bad habits,  wait until you see a monkey.

MM-Avatar      No thank you Mr Dog. It´s bad enough having to watch humans (and some dogs) everyday.

Why don´t people (and dogs!)  take an example from us cats?  We´re always tidy and well-groomed. We don´t have disgusting habits – and if we did, you wouldn´t see us practicing them in public  🙂

It would be nice if  humans  looked after themselves a bit better. They should treat their bodies as a temple worthy for their soul to reside in.

Although they obviously can´t help it, from my observations, many “temples” seem to be full of rubbish.  Isn´t it time that humans had a clear  out?

————————————

Mr Dog pondered Mr Midnights words but could not come to any immediate conclusion.

“I´ll have to think that one through Mr M.  I´ll keep you informed of my progress.

See you around Mr M. and give me five to Sir W. will you?”

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

For legal reasons, and because of the state of Mr Dogs appearance, the three of us apologise that we were not able to use Mr Dogs  photo  in this posting.  Thank you.     🙂

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Copyright mags (C) 2013

Advertisements

“MISSION IMPAWSSIBLE”? starring Mr Fred Midnight and Sir George Francis Winston, with special guest Mr D.

MM-Avatar      Come on now Sir Winston. Pull yourself together!  Nothing´s impawssible.

SW-Avatar      That´s alright for you to say Mr Midnight, but I´m scared.   What if we get caught?

MM-Avatar      We´ll not get “clawaught in the act” Believe me 🙂

I wouldn´t try to purrsuade you if I thought  the situation would  be  dangerous now would I?

If you think pawsitively, you´ll be alright.

SW-Avatar       But why does he have to lie around  the entrance to our kingdom?  He doesn´t usually sleep there.  He´s not supposed to be there either. He doesn´t live there. He looks like he´s guarding our place of abode.

I don´t like it. I don´t like it at all.

MM-Avatar       Don´t take this purrsonally Sir Winston;  but I sometimes  find you most purrculiar.

If life was always  without  adventure,   there wouldn´t be much purrpose to life.

We´ll be OK. Just wait and see.

SW-Avatar       I wish I was as cool as you were Mr Midnight.  You seem to take everything in your stride,  and without fear.

MM-Avatar      If I´m honest with you, I´m just as scared as you are Sir Winston.  My calm posture is just my way of dealing with the situation.  Afterall, panicking won´t help things.

Now come on, let´s slip by him and sneek into our house. I´m not letting him dictate what I should and should not do.

I´m a cat and proud of it! 🙂

———————————————–

Mr Midnight had figured out that the only way to get past the sentinel was to approach from the west, using the cover of the potting shed  and the glare  of the “big, warm round thing in the sky” so as to partially blind the sentinel from their approach.  The slight eastily breeze would also help  disguise any cat odours and hopefully, keep them undetected. At least that was the plan.

————————————————

MM-Avatar      Now remember. Whatever happens Sir Winston, don´t panic.  If things come to the worst, just bolt for it !   🙂

Stay close and follow me. I know what I´m doing.

SW-Avatar       You´re so  reassuring  Mr Midnight.   I have faith in you.

———————————————–

Mr Midnight suddenly sprang up and looking sharply  left and right,  he darted across the road, dived through  the hole in the hedge,  crept  the length of the hedge, and then made  a short dash for it  where he eventually ended up  crouching at  one of the corners of  the potting shed.

Sir Winston, still  nervous as hell, blindly followed and seconds later, was lying  besides Mr Midnight, wondering to himself what the next step would be.

————————————————

MM-Avatar      (Whispering) It´s all so very quiet Sir Winston.

Let me make a reccy so I can work out the  “lay of the land”.

SW-Avatar      I thought you knew the “lay of the land”. You live here!

MM-Avatar     Sir Winston, your paw´s resting on my paw.  Let go of it please.

Keep your calm.

Do as the english people do Sir Winston – “Keep calm and drink tea”.  It´s just a pity we haven´t  remembered to bring any provisions on our excursion.  We´ll deal with the “tea problem” later, if we manage to make it to base.

SW-Avatar      To tell you the truth Mr Midnight, I could murder a cuppa.  I´m parched.  It must be because of  all the heat and stress of the occasion.

MM-Avatar        You´ll just have to wait until we´ve seen things through.

Pull yourself together SIr Winston.  Just think of daddy.  He´s from a place people  call England  and they like  keeping their upper lips quite stiff on occasions such as these.

SW-Avatar      But it´s difficult keeping a stiff upper lip and to  not  be frightened at the same time.

MM-Avatar      Grin and bare it Sir Winston, grin and bare it.

But please don´t grin like Cheshire Cat. If you do,  your spectacular wide grin may  probably catch the attention of  the enemy and give our position away.

———————————————-

The sun was now at its highest and the heat and tension of the “final approach” was virtually unbearable.

———————————————

MM-Avatar       It´s  furrtunate  for us that he´s very sleepy at this hour. Come on, lets move. He´ll not be expecting us at this hour!

Move! move! move!.

———————————————

They craftily wriggled their way along the side of the house, using the rose bushes as cover, and slowly inched their way  through the dense foilage towards the entrance of the house.

———————————————-

MM-Avatar      Freeeezzzzeeee Sir Winston. Down!

Bandits! Bandits! Bandits!

He´s awaking from his slumber.

———————————————

The air was thick and heavy and Sir Winston was totally mesmerised by what he had seen.  His mouth felt dry and his four legs felt as though they were made out of lead.  His eyes were transfixed on the object guarding his kingdom. The accompanying smell from “the beast” wafted into Sir Winstons nostrils, making him feel quite agitated and queasy.

He whispered……..

SW-Avatar       What are we going to do Mr Midnight?  Let´s make an heroic retreat and let things be bygones. He´ll move eventually. We´ll just have to wait that´s all.

——————————————————-

The pupils of Mr Midnight´s eyes were suddenly  large and as black as the night.  Although it was daytime,  he had switched his night-sights  on with which to  observe his foe more clearly. 

——————————————————-

MM-Avatar      Retreat ?

I´m having nothing of it.  Not on your nelly!

We´ve got this far so we´ll make it to the drop zone.

Look, he´s just moving into a more comfortable  position that´s all. He´s such a lazy thing.   Even if he does detect our presence, I doubt that  he´d be bothered to go chasing after us because it´s too hot and I saw him eating a little while ago.  He has such a  voracious appetite that his stomach must  be full.

…… which reminds me.  It´s nearly time for our lunch Sir Winston.

SW-Avatar       How can you talk about food in such a moment of crisis?

MM-Avatar       Come on Sir Winston.  Stop winging.

Slowly does it,  and keep close to me.  Stay on my left flank. You´ll be safe there, just  in case we have to take some stick. (I love food sticks)  🙂

———————————————–

They took their time on their final approach, ducking and crawling through the dense vegetation which leads up to the steps of the house.  At this point, they both switched into “stealth mode”, stalking at their very best,  and silently trotted  past the sentry  and up the steps to the apartment of their kingdom.

———————————————-

MM-Avatar      Great fun eh Sir Winston. He didn´t  notice a thing.

You see, if you believe in yourself you can do anything. Nothing´s impawssible! 🙂

SW-Avatar      Thank you for your kind support Mr Midnight. I don´t know what I would have done without you. I would most likely  still be out there, trapped in the heat and dense vegetation without anything to drink.

To show my gratitude, you can have my portion of Greek yogurt tonight.

MM-Avatar       Thanks very much Sir Winston. It´s not necessary but i´ll eat it all the same. You´re such a great pal. 🙂

—————————————–

After having nourished himself, Sir Winston then   padded  into  one of the back rooms to have a lie down with which to  relax from his morning ordeal.

Mr Midnight went out again and approached the figure lying infront of the house steps.

—————————————–

MM-Avatar      Great fun Mr Dog. 🙂  We´ll have to do that again sometime. Sir Winston took it all in like a sponge.  He really believed that he was in danger.

—————————————–

Mr Midnight had kindly invited the next door neighbours dog, Mr Dog, to “play-along” with his little prank,  with the intention of helping Sir Winston gain more confidence.

—————————————–

MM-Avatar      Although  a little cruel, I only wanted to try and relieve him of his fears and force him to   believe in himself a little more.  He needs so much reassurance.  I hope  he learnt something  today  through the aid of  my little exploit.   🙂

Give me a big  five Mr  Dog!  🙂

Mission accomplished!

Copyright (C) mags 2013

What´s the point of it all?

DSCN0911       (The place where it “all happens”; or usually,  “doesn´t happen”!).

——————————————————————————————————————————————————-

Mr Midnight and Sir Winston were both sitting on some heavy boulders which had been placed as part of  the decoration for the school  parking bay  opposite our house.  It was getting towards  the end of the  school summer holidays and understandably, the school and its surroundings were empty of people.
It wasn´t as warm as it had been, and the long awaited cool air had helped  reduce the humid, clamminess of the previous week.
MM-Avatar      Not much happening today is there Sir Winston?
SW-Avatar      I don´t know. I´ve got my eye on that leaf down there. It hasn´t moved an inch for ages. If I keep a vigil, I may be lucky and it could move towards our  boulders.
MM-Avatar      That´s an  exciting pastime  Sir Winston.

Watching a leaf eh?  What ever next.

You are  purrculiar sometimes. You´ll have your beady eyes resting on the  bus stop sign soon, expecting it to also move in some direction.
SW-Avatar      Sometimes it does move Mr Midnight; but ever so slightly. I´ve worked  out that it´s probably because of the air masses which sometimes move ever so quickly, particularly when  we have those terrible storms.
MM-Avatar       It´s a tough life, eh Sir Winston. Our inquisitive nature sometimes keeps us occupied with the most trivial of things.  I want to  pawtake in many things, especially those that raise my inquisitive attention, but  is that the meaning of life?
What do you think happens when we are allowed to leave this place which the humans call “planet earth”?
SW-Avatar       I´m not quite sure. I don´t think any “being” really knows what happens when we depart,  but I often have interesting sensations running through my body  which make me feel that there is something out there much greater than I can imagine.
MM-Avatar      That´s probably your stomach rumbling  SIr Winston.
SW-Avatar      No seriously. It´s kind of weird. I sometimes have notions of all things somehow being connected – even myself being connected to Mr Dog next door.

DSCN0663      Sounds terrible Sir Winston.  I´d get that seen to if I were you. Fancy having thoughts like that. It doesn´t sound normal – but then again, who´s normal  these days anyway?
SW-Avatar      Can you remember, daddy once wrote a strange book called “Nice place, shame about the human race”   and one of the chapters was entitled “Death”.
MM-Avatar      Great title for a chapter of a book!. Whatever was he thinking? I told you that nobody´s normal these days didn´t I; not even daddy.   🙂
SW-Avatar      Each chapter had a famous quote and the quote for the “Death” chapter was from an Ashley Montagu. It goes:-   “The idea is to die young as late as possible”
That´s a great line isn´t it?
MM-Avatar      Fantastic Sir Winston.  I´m just not sure if having a chapter entitled “Death” is appropriate. I´ll have to speak with daddy about it.  He does have some barmy ideas sometimes.
SW-Avatar       Most probably because of your strong influence upon him 🙂
MM-Avatar       I believe that life is a little bit like a bus ride. Your leaf lying next to the  bus-stop sign must have  inspired me.
SW-Avatar       I beg your pardon. How can life be compared to that  of  sitting on one of those large, smelly moving things?
MM-Avatar       Well, it´s a human method of moving from A to B and when humans sit on a bus, the bus is either  full of people who know, or do not  know one another.
The journey starts. Landscapes pass by and conversations get in full-swing (or don´t get in full-swing). The journey ends.
The soul enters our world (the bus), along its journey, it takes in various sources of information, and then the soul leaves the planet (end of bus ride – soul leaves bus).  🙂

Experiences would have been gained for a possible  future journey at some other time.
It´s simple isn´t it?
SW-Avatar       It´s certainly another way of viewing  things Mr Midnight, and if I also observe life with   your simplicity, I would add  that life is more like the school over the way.
MM-Avatar       Fire away Sir Winston. Explain yourself.
SW-Avatar       Some humans enjoy school and others do not. That is a fact equal to life in itself. Some get on with their lives and some find life terribly difficult.
Daddy once told me that  school is a place where primarily,  young people  attain knowledge and social skills.
The soul steps forth onto the planet (enters school),  learns lessons and teachings, or it doesn´t,  and at the end of the school day, it goes home (departs from our planet) with the latest input.
When having departed, the soul may have had an enjoyable experience (at school) or not, but the lessons (of life), either positive or negative,  should have helped raise the soul to a higher plane.
MM-Avatar       Your purrception of things  is similar to mine SIr Winston. I wonder if other cats have the same opinion?
SW-Avatar       Most human beings believe that when school finishes (school of life)  – then that´s it.  At the  end of a life, there´s nothing left.  Just darkness.  Many humans believe that if they´ve been good  (which depends upon the definition of “good” and as we are already aware,  many human beings seem to have trouble displaying their goodness)   🙂  they may get so see some white light and heavenly flying objects – which apparently, goes on  forever!

Or  they may have been bad humans  and will have to go “downstairs” and  receive the dosis of hot and red lights.
MM-Avatar       Looks like it´s going to get a bit full downstairs.  🙂

What an unbearable approach to life. What´s the point of it all?

Both seem to be places of boredom – still cats like boredom don´t they Sir Winston.
I just can´t really see the point of maintaining  such a “logic” . It all seems to be a waste of time.
SW-Avatar       We must respect what others wish to believe  Mr Midnight.   Although nobody has ever been to those places of either white or red lights, many humans wish to believe in such  places. If  such philosophy helps humans then I suppose it´s a good thing
There are  also  human beings who believe that they have to keep going  back to school each time  they have departed.
MM-Avatar      I am aware of this phenomena.  It´s called “reincarnation”. I heard daddy talking to our  odd neighbour the other day, you know, the human who looks after  Mr Dog.
Such a belief  would certainly explain the “soul-teachings” thing.  The soul  keeps going back to school with which to develop, grow in wisdom and move on.  I just don´t know what happens when it has moved on as far as it can go.  More white lights I suppose.  😉
SW-Avatar       Nobody really  knows Mr Midnight. That´s the fun of it all.
Some even believe  that their soul keeps  going  back to  school  disguised as another being, just for the fun of the experience!
MM-Avatar       You mean I could come back as another animal and look exactly like Mr Dog next door?
No thank you!  He´s got terrible habits! 🙂
SW-Avatar      There´s worse Mr Midnight. You could come back as a human being.
MM-Avatar       Crumbs!!!!!   What a mess.
I suppose we´ll all just have to wait and see. 🙂

Copyright (C) mags 2013